Tuesday, October 12, 2010

A lot on my mind

Lately I have had a lot on my mind about several different subjects. Like what's happening with President Packer and his talk in conference, what I could do to help out finances, kids, next baby, etc. These are just listing a few.

I'm amazed and appalled at how people can demand respect and being treated equal and demand their freedom of speech but then turn around and deny those exact same rights to another group. The church and the members put up with a lot from those that are of different beliefs. We are constantly ridiculed and called names. Some members in other states, and countries are even abused and martyred for following the LDS church. But we keep to ourselves, we don't go around protesting and demanding we be treated equally. We sit back live our lives and every 6 months are taught by our apostles and prophet. Then one apostle of the Lord says one simple phrase that a group doesn't like, which in my opinion if they don't agree with our beliefs they needn't be listening, and it's all over the news, there are protests on our sacred grounds, rude demoralizing letters being sent to our leaders. We are now labeled as racists and hateful people for standing up for our beliefs. But just a few months ago THEY were the ones crying for people to just let them have their beliefs and treat them as equals. THEY demanded people to stop calling them names and be understanding of them then immediately turn around and doing the exact thing to others.
2 Nephi 19:17 Therefore the Lord shall have no joy in their young men, neither shall have mercy on their fatherless and widows; for every one of them is a hypocrite and an evildoer, and every mouth speaketh folly.

Those with a guilty heart will be the ones that lash out in anger.

Anyway, on another note. We are doing fine financially but i'm always thinking that I should be able to do something more to help. I don't want to give up my  blessing of being home with my kids though so I come up with crazy ideas to do here at home to make a little money. So far none have really worked that well though. But like I said we are fine financial, a little tight but we are not under.

As for my other thoughts with kids and the next baby. Yeah I know I just had a baby in February but hey i'm a planner. Some days I think just my 2 boys will be enough for me but then I get a feeling that there are more spirits waiting to join this family so then I start getting baby hungry, and then I rationalize my hunger and realize that it's just not time yet. I don't know when the next baby will be in the works but it wont be till next February or March. Though I have had some good calm conversations with Shem and we have looked into a home birth and have prayed about it a lot. We are not going into this blindly and with out spiritual guidance. We both feel that that is the way we should go. There's nothing written in stone but it just feels right when everything else we think about gives us an unease and sick feeling. I know there are many family members that don't support such things and would like to tell us of all the dangers of doing such a thing but to be honest we know how we feel and we have prayed about it a lot and to be completely honest know of the risks and dangerous associated with both a home birth and a hospital birth and we don't want to here how stupid we are being for doing what feels right for us and our family. We live with in 10 minutes of a hospital, which by the way would be how long it takes, if not longer to get things ready even if I were in a hospital, and if something goes wrong we can head straight in. We feel very comfortable and at peace with things. The only issue we are running into right now is how to pay for a home birth. Out of pocket it will be around $2,000. When it comes time for #3 we will re-asses things and make sure we truly are making the right decision though. The Lord will bless us with the right path when the time comes. If a home birth is not the right path I have some excellent nurse midwives in mind for a hospital birth.


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